The Littlest Playwright


All right, Billy. Think. Think. You can do this. Just think.

Okay, deep breath. Now… what do you have to work with. Let’s see. A prince. A princess. That’s good. People always like to see things about royalty. So what are they doing?

Getting married, that’s good. People like to see happy weddings… and we’ve just written ourselves into a corner because it’s happy and that’s that and why oh god did I even agree to write this damn play???

Stop. Deep breaths, remember? The doctor says stress isnt good for you, even at your age. So let’s start again.

Okay. A prince. A princess. They’re getting married. Good. Now, what else.

Maybe it needs a parallel story. Another prince and princess that… okay, maybe already are married, and it’s not working out so well. This is good. This is good. So this prince and princess are separated because… oh, I dont know. Maybe they’re squabbling about the kids. Maybe he’s jealous of her for some reason. Okay, so there they are. But what do I do with them? How do I connect them to the other prince and princess?

Okay, okay, maybe this second pair live in another country, and… and… he’s, like, insanely jealous of her, so he decides he needs to play some kind of joke on her… like, like… like make her fall in love with the worst possible guy. So who would that be?

Maybe some day labourer? Commoner of some kind? Royalty and commoners dont exactly do lunch a lot, so that’s be pretty cold if this prince could convince someone to take a roll with his wife just so he could say, “Nyah, nyah, you’re messing around with a stonemason“… or a carpenter… or a weaver… or something like that. Maybe she thinks he’s something else — that’d be good.

Maybe… okay, this is good: maybe this worker is part of some entertaiment for the coming wedding of the first prince and princess, like maybe he’s part of some play they’re gonna perform and… he meets the other princess when they’re rehearsing!

Oh, that’s just pathetic. Think, Bill, think!

Okay, maybe it’s time to think outside the box a bit. Maybe the second set of prince-and-princess are… like… magic folk, like… fairies or something. Fairies! Right! And they live i the forest!… which is where the workmen come to rehearse their play for the wedding! Okay, okay, this is good, this is good.

This is crap.

It needs something else, some other pair of… okay, not prince and princess this time, but not workmen either. Maybe a couple of middle-class kids. And she doesnt want to marry the guy Dad’s set her up with and he has to go to the original prince to get him to force her to marry because he’s getting married and he wants everybody to get married and who does this girl think she is by not getting married anyway?? So she runs away… into the forest! with the guy she wants to marry, and…

Sheesshh. This is getting ridiculous. Heck, Bill, just throw in a trio of witches while you’re at it, huh? Maybe Ford was right: folks just want blood and gore and sensationalism. No one’s gonna care about this silly dream play…..

Hmm. Maybe the prince that’s jealous of his wife thinks she’s been messing around with this other prince, and… and… something about a handkerchief…….


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